One Woman Down
by Little-Leaf-Tatum
Summary: The whole team reflect on losing one of their own...COMPLETE
1. Hawkes

**One Woman Down**

**Summary: ****The team think about the loss of their co-worker and friend.**

**Set in early Season 2, after ****Zoo York****.**

**Disclaimer: **_**I own nothing to do with CSI: NY, apart from my brother's **_

_**DVDs…**_

**Categories: ****General / Tragedy **

_**This is my first fic so please be nice! I'm hoping to improve any OOC stuff in later fics, I hope…**_

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**Hawkes**

It feels so empty. Ever since…

We weren't close, well not that close, but when she would stride in here, a grin on her face; her heels making that distinctive noise on the tiled floor, my mood would brighten. She did that to people – made them feel better.

Being stuck in the morgue most of the time, I was grateful for some fun. Aiden Burn could do that.

The new girl's nice enough. She's very wholesome and sweet and I like her, I do, but…

She's not Aiden.

And that's something we all need to get over.

Danny's finding it hard, really hard. That spark's missing from his eyes sometimes, and I can tell he's thinking about her. Ever since I've been out in the field, I've worked with Danny, and he looks strangely bare without her by his side. He knows it, but we carry on, never mentioning it.

Mac is typical Mac. I can't understand what he's feeling about Aiden. All I know is that he thinks that it's his fault – and that's from Stella's mouth, not mine. He keeps it all inside. I've seen him joking with Lindsey recently, he's lightened up. I like to tell myself that it's not to do with Aiden's departure, but what do I know? Not much when it comes to Mac Taylor, he's a closed book.

Flack. Now that's a guy I don't see too often. When I do see him and attempt to get a read on him, I'm not too sure. He misses her, like everyone else, but how much?

I should probably leave the 'mind probing' to Stella. She won't admit it, but she loves to get a read on people. If she didn't, how would she know Mac so well?

I try to stay out of people's personal lives. Work is work and home is home, but I have no problem mixing them once in a while. My colleagues are my friends, and I don't mind admitting it!

Aiden. Her jokes, her sarcastic voice, bouncing off the walls, echoing around the empty morgue.

After moving into the new building, the morgue doesn't echo anymore. Nor is it so empty.

Things change.

Facial reconstruction. Her speciality.

"_No face."_

"_No problem."_

I'll never forget it. Who can?

The time, the passion she put into her job doesn't seem to have paid off. I haven't heard from her yet.

We were all going to go out to celebrate Danny's birthday and Aiden was invited, but she didn't show. As Danny retreated to the bathroom to call her, the rest of us sat around his kitchen nervously, all of us suspecting that Lindsey was the reason for her absence.

Tension. Aiden couldn't stand it, Danny told me.

I'll warm to Lindsey, I know I will. But for now…

Stella's the only woman that gets results from me now.

We're one woman down, and everyone knows it.


	2. Flack

**Chapter 2 up! Hope this fic is alright…**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. (Sad, but true.)**

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**Flack**

I walked down a street today, towards another body. There was Mac, Stella and…

Lindsey.

I don't think I'll ever get used to her face. Not that it's a bad face, I mean, it's a pretty cute face, but it's different.

She's pretty perfect, Lindsey. Funny, sweet, good at her job…country…

By "country" I mean she's from the country. Montana apparently.

The complete opposite to Aiden. Sexy, streetwise, a little mean and a born and bred city girl. Brooklyn.

Let's just say she spoke my language.

I'm not gonna deny it. I miss her big time. She was alotta fun, Burn.

We were the New York gang. Me, Danny, Aiden, sometimes Stell, though she sometimes used to choose her Greek side over her American one, but only sometimes. Mac wasn't involved of course. When we were out drinking each other under the table, he had his feet neatly under _his_ table, buried in paperwork.

Danny's twenty-eighth. Good times! It's my last memory of drunk Aiden, dancing on tables with Stella as Mac and Danny filmed them and me and Hawkes shot some pool.

Danno's last birthday? A quiet dinner at a restaurant. Without Aiden.

To tell the truth, it sucked big time. A whole 3 hours of Danny staring at his food because she couldn't make it, Hawkes fiddling with his shirt sleeves, Mac and Stella making quiet conversation with each other in the uneasy awkward atmosphere, and Lindsey chattering on like a monkey. All about life in Montana. I could just picture Aiden sitting opposite me, rolling her eyes and cracking me a grin. But we all sat and listened politely to the new girl.

I have to hand it to her. She came into a tight knit group and made herself right at home. In a way her constant talking was relaxing. Lightened the mood. In other ways all it did was heighten the tension.

It was midnight. Hawkes had left early to beat traffic, Mac offered to walk Stella home and departed, and Lindsey made a hasty exit.

Me and Danno all alone. Part of me wanted to ask if we should go tear up Manhattan and hit a coupla bars, but I didn't.

"_It was Lindsey" _he finally said.

"_What about her?" _I asked.

"_Aiden thought it would be tense with the both of them here."_ He said it as if she'd broken his heart.

In that moment I felt grateful that I was Don Flack. That I wasn't Danny Messer and that I wasn't hurting.

So we said "bye" and parted.

I miss her. Sure I do. But it's not like she's dead. Aiden's still out there, living it up, I bet.

But Messer's one woman down and it hurts to watch him deal with it.


	3. Mac

**Here's chapter 3, enjoy…**

**Disclaimer:**** CSI: NY and the character do not belong to me…**

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**Mac**

I still haven't said that word to her yet.

Sorry.

At the time I felt let down by her actions. I even felt angry with her. But as she turned in her badge and walked out the door, I could see it. I'd always seen it, but that was the first time it really hit me.

How great she was as a CSI.

Danny was my protégé. Aiden was…just hired. Stella mainly pushed for her, saying that she had potential, but I never listened.

Looking back on it – the night I fired her, I wish it didn't turn out that way. I wish I could've kept my team together forever.

Now there's Lindsey. I got a tip off from a friend in Montana that she was talented. I made a call and there she was. Ready and eager to work.

She had no idea that she was taking on a job once occupied by _the_ Aiden Burn. She found out, though. After a couple of days. Stella lost her temper and snapped at her…

"_It's so strange without Aiden." _Stella said. All I did was nod in agreement.

We were all in the break room.

"_Who's Aiden?" _Lindsey asked with a small laugh which I don't think she meant to come out.

Danny raised his head angrily. He had hurt in his eyes. I know. I've felt it.

"_She used to work here…" _Stella said quietly.

Lindsey nodded slowly, stirring her coffee.

"_Oh, that…person I replaced." _Lindsey murmured.

The room went silent. Danny looked set to explode, but Hawkes held him back. Stella looked at me and I could see it in her eyes. Hatred. Well, hatred may be a strong word for it, but she looked angry. I could see where it was going…

Bonasera was going to lose it.

It wouldn't be the first time she's been unreasonable or violent. And me of all people knew that she went over the top when she let out her anger. Many of her 'episodes' have ended with people filing complaints against her.

I watched and waited for it, the moment she'd snap. I sighed inwardly. I really didn't need the extra paperwork or hassle from Gerrard.

"_Look, just because you're the 'new girl', that doesn't mean that you can think you're any better than Aiden, because you're not and you'll never be!" _

Stella didn't just shout it; she screamed it before stalking out of the room. Danny looked as if justice had been served and exited after her with Hawkes.

Lindsey stood, rooted to the spot. In shock. I sympathised with her slightly. I'd been on the end of Stella's anger before. I looked down at my cup. The silence was suffocating.

Lindsey finally looked up at me. I could see her eyes brimming with tears. Part of me wanted to apologize. She was new and hadn't settled in yet, and before she knew it, Stella had verbally slapped her across the face. It wasn't fair. That same part of me wanted to drag Stella into my office and give her a verbal slapping of my own.

But there was that other part of me, the part that wouldn't drag Stella anywhere, because I knew Lindsey had been insensitive, and Stella was just protecting Aiden. That was the part of me who definitely didn't want to apologize to Lindsey for Stella because it was _my_ fault. If I had paid more attention to Aiden's case, if I hadn't been so absorbed in all the damn rules and regulations I've created, maybe Aiden would still be here.

Then no one would be hurting. Danny would still be laughing and joking, Stella wouldn't be so angry and I would be able to live with myself.

Aiden was wrong, but I feel guilty for firing her because she was my friend.

As Lindsey walked out quickly I could see the crack in my team forming.

I could talk to Stella later, maybe she'd listen, maybe not, but there is no way of forcing people to become friends. I know that.

Standing alone, watching the team, there's a lack of something. Unity.

Is it because we're one woman down?

I still haven't told her.

"Sorry"

I'll call her sometime. It's the least she deserves from me.

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** I just wants to say THANK YOU so so much to people who reviewed! You were so kind :) Glad you liked!**


	4. Stella

**Chapter 4 up! I think it'll be Lindsey up next…**

**Btw, I have nothing against Lindsey in the show; I'm just trying to show how the team are struggling to accept a new person.**

**Just making sure you know I don't hate her!**

**Disclaimer: ****I own nothing……**

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**Stella**

I've been a bitch lately, and I know it.

I don't usually take pride in my bitchy side, and I'm not now, but it just seems to come out and I can't control it.

Over the past couple of weeks I've blamed everything for my outbursts: work, stress, PMS…the latter which got me a strange look from Mac… But anyway, I'm done with all the excuses.

After I exploded at Lindsey in the break room, I know exactly why I feel so…something. Angry? Hurt? Confused? Sad?

It's because I miss Aiden.

I also hated the way it took Mac to make me realise it. Yes, Mr closed off to his own emotions is pretty good at working mine out. After he tactfully told me that my little angry outburst had been:

"_A bit extreme…"_

He went on to tell me that he thought I was acting up because of how much I missed Aiden.

To tell the truth, I think I always knew it. It was just at the back of my head, because I pushed it there. Whenever I think about her or see her picture I feel…really sad, depressed. So I say to myself:

"_She wanted to go. She doesn't want you to be so sad."_

Sometimes it helps, but mostly it doesn't. So I put the photo of me and her at a party face down on my desk and change my computer picture. It used to be the one of all of us at Danny's birthday. Now it's the one of me and Mac at the police charity ball of 1995. No Aiden in sight.

I didn't want to apologize to Lindsey out of my own stubbornness, but I did anyway. I didn't want her to hate me already.

I see Mac sitting his office, his head in his hands. I wonder if he's thinking about Aiden. He blames himself for what happened. I used to. So did everyone else. But it's died down, and I've gained a better perspective on the situation. Aiden made a mistake and Mac acted like Mac would.

I watch Danny and Lindsey too, wondering if they'll ever get on like Danny did with Aiden. I used to have a bet with Mac that they were sleeping together – but they weren't. "Just friends" they said. Best friends.

Danny's nice enough to Lindsey, sometimes it's as if he's forgotten Aiden's still out there, somewhere in Manhattan. But the second I start thinking that, I can tell he's thinking about her. He'll go to some private place in his head, just remembering her. I'm used to it. Mac used to do it after 9/11 about Claire. So did I.

Something's telling me that Lindsey and Danny would make a good couple. I don't dislike Lindsey. Let's just say she has a lot to live up to. But she's a wonderful, bright young woman. I just need some time to adjust.

I saw Danny crying in the locker room last week. I stood outside the door patiently, silently, waiting for him to stop. He did, and he walked out and smiled like he was fine. Men and their emotions, don't ask me!

I went in when he'd gone. I went to my locker, opened it, and took out my gun. I was all set when I happened to turn to my left. There it was…

Aiden's old locker.

I opened the door, swung it back and forth a few times and walked out.

Too many memories.

I'm so angry all the time and I finally know why.

Because we lost Aiden Burn.

The one woman in my current life who was like my sister, my friend and it hurts like hell not seeing my friend everyday.

As I walk down the strangely empty halls of the crime labs I feel very, very alone.

Why is it so painful to be one woman down?


	5. Lindsey

**Chapter 5 has arrived!**

**Disclaimer: ****Yet again, nothing is mine**

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**Lindsey**

It's certainly been quite a start for me.

I was excited about this job. A CSI in the big city! Me, a lowly girl from Montana, making it big in NYC! It was a dream.

I'd heard about Mac Taylor and Stella Bonasera. They were kind of a legend to me, heroes. I turned up, ready for the job. I couldn't wait to get my teeth into a good case. I'd heard how nice they all were, how they'd welcome me…

Guess I was wrong about that…

They have they're moments when they're really nice to me…

Mac was so welcoming in the beginning. He gave me a tour, gave me a pat on the back and a smile. He seemed genuine and I thought "I'm lucky to have him as a boss". But then there are times, well a lot of the time when he sits alone and doesn't say anything. If I pass him in the hallway and smile, he won't even look at me.

Hawkes seems nice enough. He says 'hi' sometimes and he once asked me about Montana. But he's quiet around me mostly. Too quiet…

Then Detective Flack. He's funny and gave me a warm welcome, but there are times that I see him and it's as if he doesn't like who I am, as if he'd rather I was someone else. He'll look me up and down and then look away. It's hard trying to connect with people when they don't seem to want you there.

Danny. He's so sweet and charming, and we really hit it off. I was thinking about asking him out for coffee, but suddenly things changed. And that was on my second day. Everything would be great between us and he'd get a phone call. He looks at me when he gets them and walks out, but I can still hear him whispering and laughing down his cell to the mystery caller. Then he returns and he's different. Like he's caught up in his own thoughts.

I'm not sure what to say about Stella. She's pretty and friendly, and she was nice when I arrived, but the incident in the break room really knocked me.

It was the first time I'd heard about this Aiden. She used to have my job apparently, but got fired.

I don't remember what I said now, but it offended everyone. Danny looked up at me, the anger evident in his eyes. It frightened me. My first week and I was getting evils from my partner…

But it was Stella who scared me the most. She had this fire in her eyes as she shouted at me. It dawned on me then. I was involved with a bunch of messed up people. They were all hurting. I could tell from their faces.

Stella left, with Danny and Hawkes following her. I lie to myself and think that they followed because it was uncomfortable, but I know deep down that they followed her because they agreed with her and hated my guts.

It was just me and Mac, who refused to meet my eyes as usual. I stared at my feet. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. I begged myself not to cry. "Don't embarrass yourself anymore, Lindsey." By some miracle, I managed to hold them back, just. My eyes met Mac's. He looked away again.

No apology?

I walked out, fast. The tears began to fall.

How have I ended up with these CSIs? I can't help that they're emotionally handicapped.

I've accepted all of their flaws! Why can't they cut me some slack? I'm new to all this.

Talk about emotional breakdowns.

It's Aiden. Whoever she is, she's got them really cut up. They miss her so much, too much.

They all think that they're one woman down.

When are they going to realise that they aren't?

They've got me.


	6. Danny

**I finally got some inspiration thanks to reviews, so here is Danny's POV!**

**Special thanks to ****chrysalis escapist**** for being so complimentary about this story so far :)**

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing **

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**Danny**

I find it hard to talk about sometimes – Aiden.

Everyone keeps telling me:

"_She wanted to leave…"_

"_She needed some time out…"_

"_She wouldn't want you to feel this way…"_

Words give comfort initially, but when they wear off, you're still left with the same raw, untouched emotion.

The emotion I'm dealing with? Regret. Maybe sadness too.

If I'd noticed something was up with her, and her rape case, maybe I could have talked it out with her, stopped her from doin' something stupid, you know?

Mac, he's my mentor, and Stella to an extent. Hawkes, he's a friend. Flack, a very good friend, but Aiden was like my sister.

And there's nothing harder than losing family.

If there's one thing I don't wanna go thorough again it's coming into work and finding her locker open and empty. And then going into Mac's office, only to hear him say:

"She's gone. I had to let her go."

Those three little words. Let. Her. Go. Three words which cut through my heart and left me speechless.

Truthfully, the first thing I wanted to do was smack the boss in the face. The second thing I wanted to do was cry. Punch him, I didn't, but I did sit down and cry.

There one day, gone the next. Aiden.

It's not what you think. I wasn't bawling like a baby or nothing, I just needed to…feel.

I passed Flack in the hall.

"_I heard she left."_ He said quietly.

"_Mac fired her."_ I spat the word _'fired'_ with extra venom.

All Don did was put a hand on my shoulder and walk on. I had his friendship and I was grateful.

Everything went by in a blur. Evidence, trace, death. It passed by fast. There were just those moments when I'd stop and think…

Aiden would say this…

Aiden would like that…

"_Shake it off, Messer!"_

I found myself saying that a few times. Every time, Stella would give me a sympathetic look. I guess Aiden being gone has made me realise how close all the others are to family for me.

I called her after work. Of course I called her.

"_It's me: Messer."_

"_I know who you are, Danny"_

Her voice had humour in it. How did she do it? She'd been _fired_ and she was still normal Aiden.

I was just living without her and I was finding it hard to be normal Danny.

"_Nothing's gonna change between us…"_ she told me.

I believed her. How dumb was I?

Lindsey came. I did my best to be myself. Had some fun teasing her. Let me tell you, that brightened up my day!

Lindsey's cute and sweet and funny and she's great. I mean, she's not Aiden, but she's not _too_ bad.

She was nervous and a bit too talkative, but I let it slide. I just kept telling myself that I'd be spending more time with Burn outta work.

In the beginning it worked. Bars, clubs, home visits, coffee shops, parks. Whenever she had time, when ever I had time.

Work got harder, meetings got shorter. Until there were none at all.

So we called each other. Day, night, whenever.

Work got harder, calls got shorter. Until there were none at all.

My birthday rolled around and I invited everyone to dinner, even Aiden.

Everyone met at my place before for some drinks, but Aiden didn't show, so I called her. She sounded teary, but her voice was strong.

"_I'm not coming, Danny."_

"_What? Why not?"_

"_New girl's there and it'll be…awkward…"_

"_No it won't."_

"_Yes it will and you know it."_

So she didn't come, and _God_ it hurt. I hadn't seen her in months. I didn't like the way she was out there living, and I wasn't part of it.

All I said to the others was:

"_Aiden can't make it."_

Mac and Stella shared a look. No doubt they already knew why. Lindsey looked embarrassed, but it wasn't really her fault.

So we had dinner and it sucked. That's all I'm gonna say.

I'm still working and Aiden's still not here.

I cried in the locker room the other day.

I miss her so much it hurts.

I know she's gone from the team, I know she was Stella's friend, Don, Hawkes and Mac's friend, but the loss feels personal.

I feel that I've lost _my_ Aiden.

I'm one woman down. One _Aiden_ down.

I got a letter from her the other day.

"_**I miss you"**_ It said.

She's coming over tonight.


	7. Aiden

**I'm new to all this, so I want to say thanks again for reviews and compliments, I'm so very grateful :)**

**I decided to add this one to spin the POV a bit…**

**This is going to be the last chapter, so I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer:**** Same old, nothing is mine…**

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**Aiden**

I'm over it now. Being fired.

I mean, sure, I miss the people, the job…Who am I kidding? I'm not over it.

The team, the crime labs. They've been my home for so long.

That bastard, DJ Pratt has it coming…believe me…

I admit I was stupid, putting the evidence bag in with the rest. I don't know how I made that slip up. Me, being a freaking CSI.

I'm not mad at Mac for what he did. I deserved it, I couldn't be trusted. At least I can live with myself because…

I didn't do it.

Turning in my badge was hard though, so was walking out. I almost cried – almost. But I didn't. Somehow, I didn't expect to be overwhelmed by Mac's attempt of comfort, so I decided to just get the hell out before I made a fool of myself.

I packed up my stuff and emptied out my locker. Stella helped me. We had a bit of a girl moment and cried. I cried my eyes out.

Reality was dawning…uh oh.

"_I'll never forget you"_ Stella told me as we hugged.

It made me cry even more. This was the equivalent of leaving home for the first time. Letting go of family.

I picked up my box and rubbed my eyes.

"_Love you, Stell."_

"_Love you, Aiden."_

And she was gone. And so was I.

I texted Hawkes. Just a quick 'goodbye'. I did the same for Flack.

Danny. How do you let Danny Messer go? How _could _I let him go?

He was my first and only partner, my best friend, my rock.

I didn't tell him I left. It would literally break my heart.

I spent my first day wandering around the city. I hadn't been unemployed since I was a kid. It was strange, and I missed their voices.

Mac's seriousness, Hawkes's medical speak, Flack's sarcasm, Stella's comfort, Danny.

I wondered how he was doing. Would he know yet? Should I call him?

It turned out that he called me.

We met up. Then we stopped. We called. Then we stopped.

We didn't speak for months. I worked on getting my licence back. Mainly to nail Pratt.

Then he invited me to his birthday dinner. I was so excited. I bought a new outfit, did my hair, my makeup, got him the perfect gift. I looked at myself in the mirror. It was going to be great.

Then it hit me.

My replacement.

Stella told me Mac had hired a new girl, but she didn't push the subject. Danny wasn't mean enough to not invite his new partner.

Things went racing through my mind.

What if they were close, dating, what if she's replaced me already?

I couldn't turn up all smiles and attitude and have to face her being all friendly with Danny. _My_ Danny. I wasn't going to be an idiot.

So I sat on my bed and cried for a bit. Then he called me. The conversation broke me up, ripped me to shreds.

I didn't go.

I told him I couldn't stand the tension. I hate tension. He knows that.

"_**I miss you".**_ I wrote it on some paper sent it to him.

He texted me. _**"Come over".**_

So I'm gonna get dressed up tonight, buy a bottle of wine and go over.

I'll try and forget about my replacement and just pray to god that he still feels like he's one woman down, because it may sound bad, but…

Sometimes a girl needs to be missed.


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